The Best of Ava Ryan

Every once in a blue moon when I can’t sleep (read: roughly every night last week due to my lack of AC), I turn my attention to the inexplicable, hilarious humor of Vine user Katie Ryan’s four-year-old daughter, Ava.

I could spend hours watching Ava contemplate life through short tidbits of wisdom like “Don’t forget! You’re impressive today” and the aim to get up and dance after every fall. This pint-sized comedian knows how to live life to the fullest.

So, next time you’re struggling to catch some ZzZzs, I’ll save you the hours of flipping through videos (although all are worth a watch, just maybe not at midnight). Here are some of Ava’s best sound bites:

1. Where do mermaids come from?

2. “I smell like beef.”

3. Just your average work day…

4. Presents for mom.

5. A quick save for an accidental slip-up.

6. “PARTYING ON A MONDAY!” (My favorite. Can every Monday be like this?)

It’s probably for the best that Ava’s humor is a rare case. If all toddlers were this funny I’d be looking to adopt sooner than later!

Posted by Mary

Your Christmas Presents are Getting an Upgrade this Year

Welcome to what will become this biggest time suck of your life – sorry I’m not sorry for introducing this website, aptly titled ThisIsWhyImBroke.com. More like, this is why I’m never bored…ever. I can’t claim credit – some friends introduced me – but I can say that I’ve found and purchased fantastic presents from this site. It’s like Sky Mall on crack – from cute little toys and tools that make everyday life just a little bit easier, to the extreme, over-the-top, “why would I ever need a flying hovercraft for $190,000?” Laugh if you will, but some of these items actually come in handy. Just ask my best friend, who received Light Saber Chopsticks and Ninja Men Cookie Cutters from me as a house warming present. With holiday shopping season in full swing, I share with you some of my favorites in hopes I can inspire you to find that elusive “gift for the person who has everything.”

Inflatable Walk on Water Ball – according to the picture, when your kids need to burn off energy, throw them in a ball and just let them roll?

Snuggle Pillow – I’m even more creeped out that it only has one arm and half a body

Functional Mermaid Tails – making dreams come true for every girl growing up in the 90s

Life Size T-Rex Sculpture – At $32,000, who wouldn’t want this?

Hidden Flask Tie – For getting through holiday season with the fam…

Images source Thisiswhyimbroke.com

Hamburger Bed – bringing a new meaning to “midnight snack”

Posted by Amanda

Gizmos and Gadgets… and Smartphones Aplenty

To commemorate its re-release of “The Little Mermaid” into theaters this fall, Disney pulled what many film purists interpreted as a total “King Trident” on the classic viewing experience (remember how he smashed Ariel’s beloved treasure trove?). Namely by encouraging local movie houses to offer a “Second Screen” experience, inviting audiences to whip out their smartphones and tablets to use a brand new syncing app specially made for “The Little Mermaid.” Instead of watching the film, users could play games, compete with other audience members for prizes and delve into Ariel’s “back-story.”

You know who would disapprove of this? Hipster Ariel:

Image source WTFHub.com

I’m sure Disney had exhausted parents in mind with this campaign, ostensibly offering them a safe-zone to keep excited kids occupied by any means necessary. But for most film lovers, encouraging the use of handheld devices in theaters is pure blasphemy. And I for one have to wonder what kind of message its sending movie-goers of all ages when the movie watching experience comes secondary to your “thingamabobs.”

Luckily, very few theaters nationwide opted for the “Second Screen” experience. So for now at least, it doesn’t seem consumers are diving into this concept. And finally, we can all get back to what’s really important – practicing our mermaid hair flips.

Image source TheRotoscopers.com

Posted by Michelle

Get the Look: Gadgets and Gizmos A-Plenty from the 2013 Coney Island Mermaid Parade

A mermaid at heart (submerged skills and all!), I have a strong appreciation for mermaid-chic garb of all kinds – shelled jewelry and hair accessories, sequined skirts, waterproof makeup and the like. So the annual Coney Island Mermaid Parade is just the kind of al fresco spectacle I could get into.

Thanks to a slideshow from The Cut, I’m able to view this year’s highlights without a trip to Coney Island (next year, I swear!). The 2013 event was a display of the best in mer-person fashion, from green sea goddesses to scantily-clad sea nymphs and everything in-between.

While I won’t be whipping out an Ursula costume any time soon, some of these merfits (read: mermaid outfits) are nearly wearable! Peep the royal wedding-appropriate lobster fascinator on this gal (squee!) or the wavy feathers woven into this ‘maid’s ‘do.

Disregarding the more radical get-ups (but more power to their wearers, of course!), here are the best ways to spice up your wardrobe with some subtle elements from the iconic parade:

Green Pencil Skirt

Image source ASOS

I’m buying this guy after work. This slimming little ASOS number will do the trick for an understated tail look.

Coral Jewels

Image source Max & Chloe

Dying over Trina Turk’s Ocean Coral Gem Necklace.

Gold Shell Ring

Image source Etsy

Made from casted parts of exotic seashell, this rustic ring would fit nicely in Ariel’s treasure collection.

Gold Shell Head Chain

Image source Etsy

Add this little beauty to an otherwise plain Jane outfit (I’m thinkin’ a solid maxi dress or jeans and a tee) for some added nautical flare.

Waterproof Primping

Image source The Cut

My wannabe friends, the Aqualillies, now have their own cosmetics line for Tarte. How cute is the packaging alone for this swim-proof eyeliner?

One word of advice when letting your sea-freak flag fly: these accessories are not meant for pairing…less is more.

Posted by Mary

Under the Sea…

First, we learned that mermaid heroines were making a come back and now it seems those foxy fishtail femmes are making a splash in the fashion scene. Well, sort of…

Recently, one of my favorite blogs, Cupcakes and Cashmere (I mean who doesn’t love a blogger who literally goes around town dressing up and taking photos of herself in cute outfits?) posted on her experimental “Mermaid Nails”. Now, I’m not one for funky nail polish hues, but I have to say, this oh-so-eye-catching nail art immediately captured my attention. The best part? It’s super easy to do on yourself.

If you want to transform your digits into a summery, mermaid-esque design WITHOUT scaring away the man in your life (we all know how much guys love our funky fashion choices…or not…), this might be your “happy medium” between fashion forward and fashion faux pas. Speaking of which, I wonder whatever happened with those turquoise snakeskin pumps I used to own? Hmm…

Here’s how to add an instant dose of glam to your summer style…

• Choose a fun, turquoise nail polish color. Cupcakes and Cashmere recommends Essie’s Mint Candy Apple.
• Purchase a small container of turquoise glitter from a craft store. A little goes a long way!
• Paint two coats of the nail color on your nails.
• Add your favorite topcoat to just the bottom half of your nails.
• Dip a separate brush into the top coat and then into the glitter.
• Apply glitter to the bottom half of your nails.

Not into turquoise hues? Try a bright coral color mixed with gold glitter or a sexy gray hue with silver glitter.

Happy painting!

Posted by Alyssa