Tragedy Hits Millions

From a very young age, I learned what it meant to be head over heels in love. To be so smitten that you start planning your wedding and future life. How, you ask, did my six year old self know this type of love? Girllll, I was a child of the 90’s boy band revolution and I had my heart set on Justin Timberlake. And Joey Fatone, Lance Bass and JC Chasez. I didn’t bother with Chris Kirkpatrick though, because his pineapple head braids freaked me out (and rightfully so!).

Image source Buzzfeed

This experience of love is exactly why I’ve always had a soft spot for One Direction. Besides their songs being catchy as hell (and pretty cute), I see my younger cousins and friends’ little sisters go nuts for those fellas and I get it! I understand what it’s like to be hopelessly devoted to the members of a boy band. That’s why when I heard the news that Zayn Malik quit 1D, I felt the devastation of millions.

However, I also find enjoyment in laughing at the personal misfortune of tweens, so seeing the Internet buzz with their dramatic reactions was pure gold. Even better was seeing Mayor Marty Walsh express his sympathies while doing a Twitter chat around the same time that Zayn made his announcement:

Image source Twitter

So in the words of our fearless leader, it’s time to solider on. May Zayn’s memory (and man bun) live eternally.

Image source Tumblr

Posted by Tracy

I Do, With a Caveat

It’s the moment every woman thinks about, dreams about and has possibly acted out once, or twice, as a young child (or young adult). There’s a man, bent on one knee in front of you. Your breath catches in your chest and your eyes begin to tear. You know what’s happening. He grasps your hand, looks into your eyes and lovingly says, “Will you…make me 300 incredible sandwiches?” Hold up, whaa?

If you haven’t been following the blog 300 Sandwiches you may be slightly confused and, quite honestly, that wouldn’t be a bad thing. Turns out, this sandwich courtship is actually the true life and love story of Eric Schulte and Stephanie Smith. Apparently, Stephanie makes a damn fine turkey sandwich. So good that, after making one for her boyfriend, he informed her (ever so romantically) that she was “300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring.” Um, excuse me?  Enter the part where Stephanie Smith and I differ, ever so slightly, in our reactions. My reaction would probably have been an immediate laugh, followed by a swift smack to the face when I found out my man was serious.

Alas, Stephanie decided to take him up on the challenge, creating a blog to document her sandwich-making trip towards a lifetime of happiness. She described her strategy in her blog, explaining “things were moving at a natural pace, but I wondered what it would take for him to propose…Maybe I needed to show him I could cook to prove that I am wife material.” Again, excuse me? Honey, this is where you need to cut and run. Put down the bread, put down the knife and find yourself a new man. A man that cooks. They exist – and they’re awesome.

But, this story has a happy ending. It was after sandwich number 256, the ever so elegant looking “Kite Surf Fuel” sandwich that her man finally caved and popped the big question – the ‘Will you marry me?’ question, not the ‘Can I have another sandwich?’ question. Well, she said yes, and the two are now ever so happily engaged.

Image source First We Feast

Now, the burning question – will their wedding have a sandwich theme? Perhaps, “True love is something worth relishing?” Just a thought. Anyway, moral of the story is – make bad, bad turkey sandwiches ladies because you never know what thoughts they may inspire in a man. Or what awkward engagement photos they may lead to:

Image source First We Feast

Posted by Amy

True Love for the Tatas

Have you heard the news about the newest chastity belt out there? Now, instead of the iron underwear complete with padlock and key, a Japanese company has created a bra to protect women from random guys by only unlocking for true love. Say what?!

Image source Gizmag.com

The True Love Tester bra is made by Ravijour and — like apparently everything else in this day and age –it holds true to the adage “there’s an app for that.”  The bra is complete with sensors that monitors the woman’s heart rate and pulse, which is then analyzed (thanks to the app) and determines whether the wearer is actually in fact, in love. If it is just lust, then you’re out of luck – this bad boy isn’t coming off. That said, once your heart rate finally speeds up enough and exceeds the love limit, you better hope you’re not out in public – cause that puppy will come flying off with a vengeance!

In case you’re confused – here is a video that further explains the details:

Only true love for the tatas. Looks like there may be a lot of disappointed dudes in Japan this Valentine’s Day.

Posted by Laura