Thanks for the Tips, Mr. Woolf!

amandaImage source Vancouver Sun

There are so many things floating around Facebook that are reminiscent of the late 90s chain mail fad (the one my dad single-handedly continues to keep thriving) – random anecdotes, superstitions, brainteasers and never ending scrolling text. But I won’t lie – they sure are amusing, and this one had me laughing out loud and wanting to shake this man’s hand and join him on his next field trip of childish debauchery. It’s also had nearly 400K shares since it posted in April, so I know I’m not alone in my amusement.

Essentially, he gave in to accompanying his wife on her frequent trips to Walmart, only to cause a ruckus and provide his own entertainment in the most impressive and hilarious way possible. Reminds me of what my friends and I would do in high school – good ol’ goofy, ridiculously random fun that makes others around you shake their head and wish they were a teenager again. Well this guy is far from being a teenager, but I’m sure as hell taking notes to have his spirit when I’m his age.

Here are a few of my favorite pranks that he pulled, which were outlined in a letter to his wife from their local Walmart (tattletales…), highlighting his actions caught on the surveillance camera over the course of six months. Bravo, Mr. Woolf.

Dear Mrs. Woolf,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are “documented by our video surveillance cameras”:

June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘ Mission Impossible’ theme.

October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.

October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

October 22: Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.

October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper inhere.’ One of the staff passed out.

Posted by Amanda

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