How to Write Erotica for Dummies, by a Dummy

enhanced-buzz-28019-1331591495-121Image source BuzzFeed

By now, you’ve either heard of, read, or have otherwise unfortunately been exposed to E.L. James’ classy piece of fiction, “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

Well, if “Fifty Shades” peaked your interest in trying a hand at writing your own erotica, then you’re in luck! According to Vanity Fair, E.L. James has recently announced that she will publish another book that will teach anyone how to write erotica. James will also provide the magical/inspirational music playlist that helped her write. According to publisher Anne Messitte, the guide is designed, “to satisfy Fifty Shades of Grey readers who are curious about how James first got started.”

I’m calling bull. This woman just wants another way to cash in. Her claim that this book will be an inspiration for women and give light to the creative process? My butt. I could have come up with that plot line with a glass of wine and my own booty music playlist in five minutes. This woman should NOT be doling out advice… I practically lol-ed at every single sentence in that book! If you don’t believe me – check out the top 10 worst lines from the book. I promise you’ll laugh, too.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the title of this book was actually, “How to Get A Terrible Book Published.” Let’s just put it this way: if it ends up on the New York Times Best Sellers list, I really may lose all faith in humanity.

Posted by Carolyn

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