Inspired Insults

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Thousands of innovators have launched successful projects thanks to Kickstarter, inarguably the largest crowdfunding program the world has seen. Unfortunately, thousands of creative projects have also come up short. Some people just don’t have great ideas. But, as the great Aaliyah (RIP) once said, “dust yourself off and try again, try again.”

Sadly, a woman from California may be doing just that. Her Kickstarter project was started with hopes of launching her career as a “Professional Insultress.” This unique service would recruit clients who need to “let off steam” or “purge the yucks” by venting to Dorlene, who would then craft a witty insult in the form of a greeting card or PDF, and send it to the insultee.

But if you decide you don’t want Dorlene to send the carefully written insult, she doesn’t have to! You can just pay her to listen to you complain. In fact, she says that “98.5% of the time the insult is never actually delivered to the intended.” So what exactly is your service, Dorlene? Writing other people’s insults or free therapy? Well, it’s certainly NOT the latter, as she clearly states in her pitch: “It is NOT a substitute for therapy.” So please don’t approach the Professional Insultress with any serious emotional problems. Her clever, offensive greeting cards can only fix so much.

Shockingly the project does not yet have a backer. I’m not sure why, because Dorlene clearly knows how to reel in investors with a large photo of her adorable pup headlining the page. But hey, if you have a few extra bucks, no friends and are looking to vent about your boss or neighbor to a complete stranger, I’ll gladly take your call!

Posted by Erin

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