Kiddie Corruption: Stuffed Vodka-Watermelon and Other Inappropriate Play Things

When it comes to learning lessons, I tend to think a couple skinned knees and time-outs with no dinner are the consequences that shape a kid’s normal adulthood. That said, while they can learn a lot as tots, I think we can all agree that kids’ fragile little brains can’t handle too much corruption before hitting the double digits.

So when I came across Bon Appetit’s write-up on the newest stuffed creation by Plush Place, I became even less confident about a child’s ability to determine good versus evil in the playroom. This frightening discovery sparked a little research into the realm of inappropriate toys. My top picks:

1. Vodka Watermelon Play-Set:

Image source Etsy

As a recent college grad and current Jersey Shore enthusiast, I get a kick out of this plush play-thing, but teaching your kid how to make the nasty-tasting cookout crowd-pleaser? I foresee a lot of cocktails in that child’s future.

2. Toy Tattoo Gun:

Image source Huffington Post

Happy birthday, honey! Use this to ink up your teeny-tiny biceps! And no, you still are too young to wear deodorant!

3. Dora the Explorer Aquapet:

Image source

Self-explanatory… let’s just say, Sigmund Freud would have a lot to say about this one.

4. Bratz Dolls:

Image source Bratz

At the risk of sounding old and lame in my early twenties, back in my day Barbie wouldn’t be caught dead in one of these scantily-clad ensembles. Are outfits like those allowed to be worn by middle-schoolers these days?

I think not.

Posted by Mary

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