Get More Bang for Your Buck


Image source someecards.com

I’d like to repeat to you a conversation I had with a dear friend of mine last week. It started like this:

Him: “You’ll think this is funny, the Fat Ass and I are getting rub ‘n tugs this afternoon.”

Me: “In the middle of a work day??”

Yes, apparently the ways of “Mad Men” have not been completely lost on our generation. Who knew? Apparently either the provincial confines of Boston have rendered me clueless, or (more likely) most of my guy friends would never dare speak of this to the lady folk, but I really can’t believe that getting a “happy ending” at the end of a massage still exists.

Well, I was opened up to a whole new world when my pal informed me that there’s actually a website you can go to, rubmaps.com, to find all the massage parlors in your city that dole out that extra somthin’ somethin’ at the end of your aromatherapy sesh.

This site is like the Urban Dictionary of the underground sex trade. It has a blog, a slang index (and you know how I feel about slang)…I mean everything! There’s even a story about how a guy dated his er…masseuse. Cray. I think my favorite blog posts (more like diary entries that no one reads) are this guy’s personal musings where he ponders, “What if I fall in love with an AMS?” or “Could I use a spy camera in a session?”

I gotta wonder…aren’t these awkward? Do you get a cocktail? Is there a secret code word you use? (This is one thing the site doesn’t cover, although it does teach you how to haggle the price of an HJ.) What is it that makes dudes crave sexy time from complete strangers?

Now, I trust that you m. blog readers have the self-restraint to look-but-not-touch (I mean the website, creepers), but if you ever need to get some bang for your buck, and you’re either naïve or your guy friends have been holding back, now you know where to go. You’re welcome.

Posted by Hannah

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