Whiskey D*ck: Now a Good Thing

Back in high school, my all-girls education kept me pretty naïve about a wide variety of things. Then I hit college, entering a whole new realm of [un]acceptable conversation topics. Even today, I have a handful of guy friends who think I actually want to hear the dirty — and exaggerated, I’m sure — stories of their sexcapades. Thanks to them, though, I’m well-aware of the phrase “whiskey dick.”

Used most frequently to coolly (perhaps?) mention the inability to perform due to one too many cocktails, I’m pretty sure no one — guy or gal — wants whiskey dick. That is, until now…?

Courtesy of the brains behind all products bacon — salt, popcorn, lube — Epic Meal Time has just come out with a brand new flavored lubricant called, as you may have guessed it, Whiskey Dick, “the world’s first southern whiskey-flavored personal lubricant.”

Because I can describe it no better than its creators:

EpicMealTime’s Whiskey Dick™ is water-based, hand crafted and proudly Made in America. This is the gold standard of booze-flavored massage oils — Whiskey Dick is aged 4 years in white oak casks and guarantees a velvety-smooth finish. Whiskey Dick’s distinct Tennessee taste won it a Triple Gold Medal Award at the 10th Annual Great American Sex & Drinking Festival in Bean Station, TN (we also placed in the BBQ competition), and won the Quadruple Gold Medal at the Pan-European Schmiermittel Festival in East Berlin, Germany.

Despite the fact that I wasn’t able to find any information about this so-called Great American Sex & Drinking Festival (hey, it sounds intriguing!), I have a feeling this stuff doesn’t need a medal to lure people in for purchase. Thanks to Whiskey Dick, you get balls and a bar at the same time.

Lucky for me, I’ve never been much of a whiskey drinker.

Posted by Haley

Image source Guyism

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