These Boots Weren’t Made for Walking Down the Aisle

Image source UGG Austrailia

Being the experienced, married woman that I am (8 months a newlywed and counting…!), I am often asked advice from my engaged friends on, well, every question that Emily Post simply cannot answer.

For instance, a friend recently asked me my opinion on what type of shoes she should opt for on her big day. She mentioned that a bridal consultant told her that she should wear the highest heel she could find because it would give her better bridal posture. Hmm ok, if that’s not a load of crap, I don’t know what is! Seriously, let me wear these six-inch stilettos and look constipated as I walk down the aisle to Mr. Right. I told my friend to say yes to the dress and no to the shoes.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that finding the perfect wedding shoes can be a daunting task. There are so many damn pictures taken of your accessories on your big day that you have to find something pretty yet practical, and since most photographers take their lens and capture anything with a designer label on it, there’s pressure for you to rock the Loubs. As if the place cards, table numbers and all that other shit wasn’t time-consuming enough, you also have the pressure of trying on countless heels and grading them on all of the above factors.

Now to make matters worse, ie: make the unfashionable even more unfashionable, UGG just introduced a new collection of wedding shoes that truly put the “ug” in ugly. Choose from the iridescent sequin covered boot, oh-so-cozy shearling flip-flop or understated silver boot with a big ‘ole rhinestone button. What a surprise your guests will have when your hubby throws you down for a dip during the first dance and lo and behold your little Abominable Snowman-style booties are revealed.

Listen, I’m not a hater (ok, yes I am), but the only time UGG’s new wedding shoes should be worn is while the bride-to-be is getting ready. Even if your Jimmy Choo shoes blistered your feeties and all you want to do is retire to your room post-wedding and throw on your bedazzled UGG boots, RESIST THE URGE. Nothing says no sex on your wedding night like some shearling up in your hubby’s business.

If the choice of shoes really comes down to six-inch stilettos or UGG boots, I think we both know what you should wear…

You’ll thank me later, Mrs. Newlywed.

Posted by Alyssa

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