Brief Jerky

Image source Etsy

Scenario: you’ve been in a long term relationship for a while now. (Clearly, I’m not talking about myself. Unfortunately, I am trés single these days, but that’s beside the point.) Everything is great. No, better than great… astounding, even. Except lately, you’ve noticed that the heat between the sheets is lacking. It seems to have been all about him; rarely about you. You swear you’ve tried every hint to direct the action southward — things that you’d never in a million years share with your mother (which is precisely why I won’t bother listing them here). He’s your best friend, your confidant, and everything you’ve been dreaming about since you were a little girl…but even Prince Charming can’t get away with being selfish in the sack.

Ladies, men are visual creatures. They also say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Where am I going with all of this? Forget fruity edible underwear. That is amateur speak better suited for teenage boys reminiscing about sucking Fruit Rolls-Ups off of their middle fingers; I’m talking about men here. And what do men like? Meat. Yes, you heard that correctly. While silk panties are nice, how about something he really has to work at to get off, like underthings made from real beef jerky. I know what you’re saying… “Meat?! Who do you think I am, Lady Gaga?!” Don’t worry; these aren’t just any plain old slabs of dried up cow. These are garnished with girlie things, like rhinestones! Talk about a product that truly has a little something for everyone.

If your significant other has been reluctant to “eat your meat,” I have a feeling these will do the trick.

Posted by Emily

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