Being Trashy

I have really weird opinions about things, and for the most part, I keep my quirky perceptions in my own brain. But sometimes, I can’t help it.

Today I’d like to talk about a pet peeve of mine, being trashy. Actually, let me rephrase that. Some people can’t help being trashy, and there are times when I trade my J Brands for jorts (my roommate’s jorts…which are also J Brand…but whatever). Instead I’d like to discuss things that I think are trashy, which is different, because even non-trashy people can fall victim to these faux pas.

1. Substituting entire words with letters
Unfortunately, Twitter has proliferated the use of ‘u’ instead of ‘you,’ ‘r’ instead of ‘are,’ and perhaps my least favorite, ‘ur’ instead of your AND you’re. Why do I think this is trashy? Because it makes you sound like a 10-year-old on AIM with a screen name like lilangel69 (don’t get me started on screen names) when in fact you’re 30-something years old with a real job.

 

2. Wearing peep toe heels with tights.
Even if the tights match the color of your pumps, this is NOT ok. I honestly can’t even begin to understand who thought this was good chopa? If you have to wear tights, it means it’s winter and your toes should not be ‘peeping’ out of their shoes. This is trashy just because it demonstrates that you have absolutely zero understanding of what’s going on around you.



3. Lids
No, not like tupperware; like the hat store. I mentioned my feelings toward Lids to my boyfriend and he got genuinely upset and said, “it’s a HAT store, they sell HATS, how is that trashy??” This is why: While they may have a few nice fitted hats, your classic black (insert team here) flat brims, the rest of the stuff is HORRIBLE. Who on earth would ever want to buy a Patriots hat with pink mesh, rhinestones and the phrase “girlie girl” embroidered on the back? Trashy people, that’s who.

 

4. Spelling names in annoying ways
IF YOU WANT TO NAME YOUR SON A PLAIN NAME LIKE ERIC, JUST SPELL IT ERIC. DON’T SPELL IT ERIK TO TRY AND MAKE IT MORE “UNIQUE.” IT’S STUPID.

 

5. Roll Ups
I think this is a “Mass” thing, I’m not really sure, but does anyone else get confused and annoyed by this? When I hear “roll up,” I think of a fruit roll up, like the kind I was never allowed to have in my lunch box but would gorge myself on at play dates. No, in Massachusetts, “roll ups” really mean wraps. Just call it what everyone else calls it, seriously. People from Massachusetts get made fun of enough.

 

I hope you noticed I didn’t bother to go into the more obvious things (like Coach bags), just the underrated ones (especially the whole tights-with-peep-toe-heels thing), because I really needed to get them off my chest and start the new year off right. Here’s to hoping the next time you text me, you’ll think twice about what you write…that is, if you even want to talk to me anymore!

Posted by Hannah

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