America’s Next Top Money-Maker

Not gonna lie, I’ve been a fan of America’s Next Top Model since day one (or, to use Tyra lingo, cycle one). I’ve seen the series through myriad changes on the judging panel; Mr. Jay’s black-to-platinum hair; Ms. Jay’s weekly-expanding bowtie, fro, collar, what have you; Ty-Ty Baby’s spot-on psychological evaluations of prospective top models; and Nigel’s never-changing dead sexiness. My friends and I used to spend our hungover college Saturdays on the couch watching ANTM marathons and calculating the judge’s voting strategy down to a science. It’s scary how accurate we’ve become at determining who’ll get the boot each week and who the top picks will be at the finale.

But lately, I’ve been questioning Queen Tyra’s decisions when it comes to my beloved show. The all-stars season was bad enough—nothing screams “ratings ploy” like bringing 14 hot messes under one roof for an all-out battle of the egos. But the ultimate jump-the-shark moment has to be the debut of “Dream Come True,”  a Top Model-inspired fragrance available exclusively at Target starting in January.

Smize, bitches—now you too can smell like desperation in a polyester weave.

Posted by Abby

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