IS MY SON GAY? There’s An App For That!

They gave us croissants, they gave us Chanel, they continue to give us rations of snotty attitude whenever we cross onto their turf, and now they give us answers…to that pesky question…“Is My Son Gay?” Sparking outrage amongst the gays, a French app developer has introduced a 20-question Android App for parents who are questioning the sexual preferences of their precious lil’ Pierre.

I’m a gay male with an identical and wayyy gayer twin brother so when coming out to my mother she just laughed and said “You’re not gay! Joe is.” If only she had this handy dandy app—it would have all been so clear!

In all seriousness, I think all you queens who are so up in arms over this hysterical app need to ask yourselves one more important question…where the F is your sense of humor?!

First—FRENCH people created the questionnaire…that’s as bad as a flouncy Brit doing it…. as the saying goes ”he’s not gay, he’s just English.” Considering the way Europeans blur the lines of gender norms and sexuality I find it astounding that the French could even pretend to begin to come up with a code to decipher between a hetero or homo.

Next—Let’s look at the questions…think of all the potential confusion:

  1. Does he like football? Depends, we talking wide receiver or tight end?
  2. Does he read sports magazines? If he’s a smart little bitch he does…those jocks are hot!
  3. Does he like team sports? Eh hem…have you showered at Equinox recently.
  4. Does he spend a long time in the bathroom? REALLY!?!?
  5. Does he like musical comedies? Wait—is this APP to determine if he likes dick or shitty plays?

This whole thing has made my week! Next up, I hear they’re in final testing phases of an app for the new iPhone 5—“Is My Son Black?”

Posted by Sam

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