With all the runway beauty and catwalk-strutting earlier this month in NYC, it would be sad to ignore one of my other favorite September happenings: the Miss Universe Pageant, more specifically, the National Costumes portion of the competition. Usually poised, primped, and pressed into gorgeous gowns and swimwear, the National Costumes give Miss Universe contestants a chance to represent their country in some of the most ostentatious, obnoxious, and loud costume pieces I’ve ever seen.
Famed bloggers Tom and Lorenzo of Project RunGay bitingly comment on the vast array of bird-centered outfits saying, “Quick! Vote for me before I grow my beak and fly away!” and “Fuck Miss Bahamas! Vote for me before I lay my eggs!” Beautiful women with model-eqsue bodies stand proud with feathers on their asses, sequins on their tops, and beaks adorned to their heads. You can almost see the embarrassment behind their perfectly rehearsed smiles. Like a train wreck from which you can’t avert your gaze, country after country comes out trying to top the one before with bigger headdresses, flashier sparkles, and more and more skin. Miss USA brought it home with a revolutionary inspired outfit complete with knee high boots, white booty shorts, epaulets, and a massive tri-corner hat. “I CANNOT TELL A LIE, BITCHES! MY COOCH IS FABULOUS!”
Check out the rest of the world’s, nay, universe’s sequined bird women coupled with Tom and Lorenzo’s commentary here and here and congrats to Leila Lopes of Angola (underwater sea life explosion, anyone?) on her new crown.
Posted by Aimee