I am a big fan of Twitter. The first thing I do every morning (after checking the weather – Boston, you’re a fickle friend) is scan my Twitter feed to see if I missed anything notable while dreaming of sugarplum fairies and gourmet cheese. After my scan of the latest news (which lines of the MBTA are delayed today?), I visit the account of the only toddler in my life.
My latest Twitter obsession and must-follow handle is @HonestToddler. Last summer The Huffington Post called Honest Toddler a “Twitter Sensation” and I wholeheartedly agree. Since joining Twitter in May 2012 Honest Toddler has tweeted over 4,000 times and has just under 180,000 followers. I’d say that falls under the #winning category.
Honest Toddler’s tweets are from the perspective of a toddler and are about anything and everything – a love-hate relationship with his dad, feelings about Santa, afternoons with his grandparents, etc. while taking a sassy tone. Instead of continuing to list all of the reasons I think you should be following @HonestToddler (you really should be), see for yourself. Below are my favorite Honest Toddler tweets from the last five months. I dare you not to laugh or shake your head after reading them.
1. Call the ACLU
2. The best pocket
3. The Museum of Fine Arts
4. The truth behind pants
5. Toddler Grammy Awards
Confession: I have re-tweeted most of these.
Posted by Maya
Image source @HonestToddler
Image source EliteDaily.com
Shortly after midnight on July 20th, a silent psychopath unleashed a spray of bullets into an Aurora, CO, movie theater, killing a dozen and injuring 58 innocent people. The man, just 24 years old with a baby face to match, has riled the entire country, instigating heated debates on gun control, public security, and mental health. James Holmes is also the latest “hottie.”
A few months ago, I went on a tirade about all the uneducated teeny-bopper nitwits who publicly declared their willingness to let Chris Brown beat them up because of his good looks (I don’t see it). Now, just a little more than a week after the aforementioned tragedy, the internet is once again abuzz with young women whose only care is how hot (again, I don’t see it) some vile man is. Forget the victims and their families who will think about this every day for the rest of their lives; teenage girls’ priorities for boys and attention have popped up all over Twitter, proclaiming their crushes and desire to “hit it”:
How about how horrifying and sad this story is? What about empathy? Are the youth in this country really as pathetic and stupid as they continue to present themselves as? Or is it the easy and accessible way social media allows us to broadcast our thoughts before thinking? I truly would like to know how each of these teens would have reacted to the situation were it something they experienced themselves, whether by being in that theater or knowing someone who was.
This isn’t Tiger Beat, horny-boppers, so go take a cold shower, and try to watch the news.
Posted by Haley
Image via Popcrunch
When I watched the Grammys this year, I was shocked at all the attention Chris Brown was getting. Not only did he perform twice — poorly, IMHO — but he even won the award for best R&B album of the year. Has everyone completely forgotten what a serious dick this guy is? Forget any talent he might have. Not only has he never publicly accepted responsibility for beating the shit out of Rihanna, but for the past three years, he has responded to any and all forms of criticism — even questioning! — with violent outbursts (like that time he threw a chair through the window at ABC and ran out of the building shirtless) and twitter rants (all of which ultimately get deleted — way to go, PR team!).
It blows my mind that anyone in the music industry allows him the opportunity — that so many would kill for (no pun intended) — to perform when he has clearly not changed at all. But…that’s another story.
The bigger issue here — one that completely horrifies me beyond comprehension — is the myriad of responses from young women to his Grammy appearance. I’ll let their tweets speak for themselves:
I don’t even know how to form a clear or appropriate sentence following this. How? Why? WHAT THE FUCK?! Is this seriously happening? I’m not sure what or who is to blame in this case. Obsession with celebrity? Young women thinking violence is ok? Just a hugely misguided attempt to be cool? I would never in my life wish abuse on someone, and here these girls are just asking for it. Parents, you should be so proud.
Posted by Haley Rose
Image by Bauble Bar
I have ALWAYS wanted a personalized name plate necklace, and I can absolutely assure you I was lusting after one years before Carrie Bradshaw made it cool. My yearning for the necklace started in about 6th grade when my friend Lauren got one. For some reason, I never told my mom about this obsession, or asked for it as a birthday present (maybe because at the time it was a little “Jenny from the block,” but then again, so was I), but instead I would venture into Chinatown and go from hole-in-the-wall to hole-in-the-wall trying to bargain my way to an inexpensive necklace (my father would be proud!).
Now, many moons later, I still don’t have one — but I do have the chance to get ahead of the trend, once again! BaubleBar has just launched personalized Twitter handle name plates, which, let’s be honest, are pretty hilar/amaze. I’m not completely sold on getting one with my Twitter handle just yet (maybe if I had a cooler one, like ManRepeller), but if I actually had any sort of Twitter influence, I would absofuckinglutely get this for myself.
I guess it’s a good thing I waited to buy one of these — they’re only $88 and I remember them being muuuchhh more expensive in Chinatown…
Posted by Hannah