Tag Archives: tweens

The Best of Both Worlds?

Image source Fashionista.com

I’ll resist being too cynical in this post because I have to admit I’m a bit of a Miley Cyrus fan. I enjoy belting out “Party in the USA” and “The Climb” just as much as the next tween guy, and I definitely admire any girl who got Liam Hemsworth (swoon!) to pop the question.

In fact, one of my very few criticisms of Billy Ray’s “baby” (aside from her excessive use of y’all) was the creation of hundreds of plastic and Lycra Hannah Montana-inspired do-dads that littered shelves during her Disney tween stage. I’m bitter because I know that stuff breaks the day after you buy it – a sad conclusion drawn from my days of ’90s Backstreet Boys fanaticism.

Lucky for the now high school graduates and newly-licensed drivers who fell victim to all the Hannah Montana retail madness, there’s a recently revealed (practical?) alternative for one of her countless byproducts. Hannah Montana’s all-too-fruity body splash doubles as – you guessed it – raccoon repellent!

Apparently, the celeb’s perfume is just as unpopular with ring-eyed critters as it was among fathers of prepubescent girls six years ago. A couple spritzes of the Disney Channel concoction and nearby ‘coons will cease attack and wave their mini white flags in defeat.

Fair warning: this discovery was made by a man who routinely allows raccoons to gnaw on his forearm, so don’t jump into a pit of angry creatures to test the theory. But hey, using it as a weapon is better than letting your bottle gather dust.

A multi-functional product? Maybe this is what Hannah meant by the “best of both worlds”!

Posted by Mary

Girlfriend for Hire

Image source GirlfriendHire.com

Guys — what if I told you that you could get all of the benefits of being in a relationship without being tied down? No more expensive dinner dates, meeting the ‘rents, or sitting through Sex and the City reruns. For just five dollars, GirlfriendHire can find you exactly what you’re looking for. Whether you want to make your ex jealous or impress your friends when a hot tween posts on your Facebook wall, there is (unfortunately) a girl on this site willing to help.

More depressing than the guys who frequent this site posting requests for girls to “send me a fake message on Facebook telling how much fun you had last night,” are the girls who post on it (MySpace photo included). Offering services that range from homework help and fashion and relationship advice (including “how to make out properly”) to Facebook posts and “flirty” text messages (code for sexting?). Oh, and then there’s just the “broke ass girl” willing to do anything “sane” for 5 bucks.

Is it just me or does anyone else think this recently-launched site has “recipe for disaster” written all over it? I can see it turning into a Craigslist’s casual encounters board for tweens, illegal sex-capades and all. According to BuzzFeed, 22-year old founder Cody Krecicki “doesn’t want GirlfriendHire to be seen as “an adult service” — he wants it to be ‘fun and safe.’” Now I’ve never been a teenage boy, but I feel like I have enough common sense to realize that this site is not being utilized nearly as much for homework help as it is for the exchange of dirty pics and texts. And while this may just be an innocent way to combat boredom, it could easily turn sour. Girls, I suggest that you find a less sketchy and desperate way to earn a few bucks. And boys, find a real girlfriend and learn how to interact with your fellow human beings like a normal person.

Posted by Erin