Image source Cheezburger
After seven years on the East Coast, the Texan in me is pretty much neutralized. My accent is gone, I no longer blast the AC as soon as the weather hits 70 (degrees) and I finally sold the trusty steed I rode to school every day back in Houston. I’ll never stop loving chile con queso, though. Queso is more than just melted cheese and salsa — it’s practically the state dish. It’s free with the day-glo blue margs at Club No Minor. It’s amazing.
In the seven years since I defected to Yankee territory, I’ve found ways to get my fix. The best Valentine’s Day present I ever received was an overnight shipment of frozen queso and a few dozen tamales. I’m not above throwing a block of Velveeta and a can of Ro-tel in the microwave (I’ve used “cheese product” slices and canned chiles in a pinch abroad), and the Homesick Texan has a really good recipe.
The world beyond my former home on the range (where the deer and the antelopes play) thinks of queso as “cheese sauce.” Suffice it to say, Boston’s been a queso desert. Or it was until now, y’all! Thanks to Lone Star, the taco bar from my heroes at Deep Ellum, great queso is now within a lasso’s throw of my inner honkytonk fatty. Sometimes I order it at the bar with an on-draft Modelo Especial, but getting it to go is kind of my jam. People ask me all the time if I miss Texas. Between the Jurassic mosquitos, the ten-lane highways and the pro-Texas country music, the answer is only a little bit. I do miss queso though, so I’d like to take a minute to tip my proverbial ten-gallon hat to Lone Star for filling a big void in this Texas ex’s Boston existence.
Posted by Susannah
Posted in m.dine, m.thoughts
Tagged chilie con queso, club no minor, deep ellum, homesick texan, lone star taco bar, lone star tex-mex, marlo m/c, queso, Texas, texas food
Picture this: you come home from work to find a scantily-clad housekeeper dusting your floors and Windex-ing your glass table. Normal? No, not unless you’re on the set of a porno…or, according to recent reports, living in Texas.
The media has been abuzz about the newly opened West Texas business that’s aptly named Fantasy Maid Service. Just as you would imagine (or fantasize, if that’s your thing), this company offers maids that will come to your house and clean it top to bottom in the nude. Yes, we’re talking full-on birthday suit dish-washing and topless Swift-ing.
Shell out $100 to have Angel, Maryjane or Star clean your house and give whoever is home quite the show (your golden retriever won’t know what hit him!). Better yet — they’ll work at parties serving drinks, passing food and cleaning up — no clothes required. Now contrary to popular belief, Fantasy Maids are only maids…naked maids. The site posts “strict” guidelines that housework will be the only thing these girls will be doing (no pun-intended) at your home. Convinced? I’m not.
Does it make me old fashioned that I miss the days of maids like Alice Nelson?!
Posted by Alyssa
Image source HalloweenAndCostumes.com
Posted in m.news, m.thoughts
Tagged Fantasy Maid Service, Fantasy Maid Service of Lubbock, Lubbock Texas, maid, maid service, marlo m/c, naked maids, nude services, Texas, West Texas
I’ve never been shy about my fantasy to lead a Friday Night Lights-esque existence. Truth be told, if I was given a second chance at life, I would grow up in Dillon, Texas, so I could don a cute cheerleading outfit and date QB1 Matt Seracen.
I’m not sure what it is, but Texas has always intrigued me. Take its mantra, for one, “Everything’s bigger in Texas;” I don’t know if this maxim refers to the size of the state (it’s second only to Alaska, but let’s be serious, Alaska doesn’t really count) or the size of its cowboys’ belt buckles, but either way, Texas is known for its “go big or go home” attitude—and the recent birth of a 16 lb. baby is no exception!
To give you some context, the average newborn is about 7.5 lbs. Measuring in at a whopping 2 feet at birth, JaMichael Brown (named after mom, Janet and dad, Michael—so creative those Texans) is setting new standards for the Lone Star State, and living up to Texas’ “larger than life” reputation. I can only imagine the Texas-sized appetite this young man is going to have—not to mention his Texas-sized diapers and doo doos.
While I can’t say my small-town Texas fantasy involves having a 16 lb. baby (it wouldn’t work with the cheerleading garb), it seems that something like this would only be possible in Texas. The Dallas Cowboys will be recruiting in no time!
Posted by Hannah
Bacon Ice Cream, Bacon Coffee, Bacon Cupcakes, Bacon Salt… Americans have gone hog wild these past few years, the bacon craze steadily intensifying and, in my humble opinion, spiraling a bit out of control.
Well, there’s about to be a plethora of pig ready for the Baconnaise-ing. The good ol’ state of Texas, more specifically Agriculture Commissioner Todd Staples, has declared October “Hog Out Month.” Those damn wild hogs seem to be ruining G.Dubb’s manicured lawn and state golf courses, causing an estimated $51.7 million in damages annually. A grant program has even been created to encourage county participation across the state in knocking down this overly-fertile king of the forest. Hey, with no natural predators, these things are reproducing like crazy!
Annie, get your gun because the counties that score the highest in this “feral hog abatement technologies program” will be awarded $25,000, $15,000, and $10,000 respectively. Call me pig-headed, but this all seems a little Wild Wild West to me. Pop a pig and give yer best “yeeehawww,” hoss!
So, me participating in a mass slaughter? Yeah, when pigs fly.
Posted by Haley