Pre-Workout Beer?

Olympic athletes and beer… not two words that are often in the same sentence unless we’re talking post-Olympic celebrations. But with the Games over, these chiseled, god-like athletes can now relax and crack open a cold one on a hot summer’s day, just like the rest of us. But for those who still have professional competition in their future, I would highly suggest that they stay as far away from BrewDog’s new beer as possible.

BrewDog is a Scottish brewery that is so anti-establishment, their Olympic-inspired beer was named Never Mind the Anabolics. Before you even think about going out and buying a six-pack, especially all of us who currently are/thinking about becoming an Olympic athlete (HA!), let me fill you in on the special ingredients that have been added to this beer to give a big F***U to all the “fast food companies, sugary fizzy drinks producers or monolithic multi-national brewers”.

To start things off, Never Mind the Anabolics contains 6.5% alcohol (which is not BrewDog’s highest percentage beer) and some extra ingredients: creatine, guarana, ginseng, gingo, macha powder, matcha tea and kola nut. To further add to the beer’s WTF factor, the original test batch had another special sumthin-sumthin: steroids. But since that would be illegal, steroids are not included in the final product. Steroids or not, all of these substances would get any Olympian banned from the Olympics faster than I could chase down any of the Olympic male swimmers/divers if I saw them on the street.

Why anyone would ever think to create such a beer, let alone drink it, is mind boggling, but BrewDog has made their point loud and clear: drug tests be damned!

Posted by Katherine

Image source BrewDog

Is This the New Face of Reality TV?

Image source E! Online

Ryan Lochte: America’s newest heartthrob, stealing the hearts of women everywhere (despite his obvious arrogance and questionable hip-hop-meets-hipster style). I’m talkin’ American-inspired grills (were those even cool when Nelly rapped about them?), winged sneakers and taking the neon trend a bit too far.

Regardless, he still manages to be irresistible. I mean, look at that face.

Lochte hasn’t just been making headlines for his goofy style and Olympic prowess, he’s also been taking advantage of his 15 minutes of fame in London with the ladies, defending his mother’s comment on his one-night stands (come on people, the woman didn’t mean it like that) and relieving himself in the pool.

America loves this guy. Women want him, men want to be him, and parents want their kid to marry him. So why not give him a reality show? Lochte’s agent told The Hollywood Reporter that he has had multiple TV offers on the table, as well as offers to develop a fashion line.

Regardless of his rep as “America’s Sexiest Douchebag”  and dumb as rocks, if Ryan Lochte gets a show, people are going to watch. There is nothing American reality television loves more than pregnant teens, rich white women with Botox, and douchey, dim-witted hotties.

Posted by Erin

London Is Burning: Usain Bolt Gets Silver for Pre-Race Vogue Routine

Image source SB Nation

The men’s 100-meter dash last week was a jaw-dropping feat of athletic prowess and Usain Bolt is undeniably the man. His stride is elegant and extraordinarily powerful and, as someone who sometimes declines to walk down the street for lunch when it’s too hot, the blood, sweat and tears that go into running that distance in under 10 seconds blows me away. To say it’s impressive doesn’t do it justice.

I loved watching those guys kill it on the track in their neon shoes, but by far my favorite moment of the XXX Olympiad (and there have been many, including the general silliness of men’s trampoline and the creepy gold-winning synchronized swimming duet routine from the Russian aqua ballerinas) was before the race, when we got to see swagged-out intros from the entire lineup of the fastest men on earth. Did somebody tell these guys they needed to come up with a badass mug for the camera on the fly? Because they did and it was beyond brilliant.

My analysis of this Paris is Burning-style pre-race routine: This was all-around a pretty impressive display, with mugs ranging from a cool and collected, but unfortunately very squinty, stare-down from a brightly goateed Asafa Powell to some milquetoast hype face and run-of-the-mill good sportsmanship from Justin Gatlin and Ryan Bailey of Team USA. Meh.

Who wins my prestigious award for most ridiculous pre-race hype? The same dudes who killed it on the track: the Jamaicans! But, sorry Mr. Bolt. Though your ridiculous, awesome record-spinning, gun-toting, running finger routine was memorable, your teammate Yohan Blake wins gold! As you can see from the embedded video, Yohan spends a very long few seconds below the camera frame before rising up like a Thriller-esque zombie, appearing to bark and finally flashing an absolutely lovely smile! Bravo, Yohan, bravo. That was really random. Thank you for my making my Olympics special. And thank god for GIFs, amIright?

Posted by Susannah

Spritz Me Up

Image source DiariesofBella.com

As someone who grew up in the coolest city in the US – Houston – where air conditioning is considered a fundamental human right, I’ve never been able to adjust  to the oppressive summer heat and humidity of my AC-free pre-war Boston apartments. After logging countless sticky hours on the porch and rigging up one too many elaborate fan setups, I’ve decided to do the civilized, rational thing. I’ve given up and started making cocktails.

I’m a negroni gal myself, but it’s too damn hot to be persnickety about ratios and an eyeballed negroni with too much vermouth is a beastly thing. Plus I don’t have a cocktail shaker and drinks mixed in a French Press just don’t get cold enough! Take my word for it.

Now that the Olympics are on inside, an easy, refreshing cocktail is more crucial than ever. Enter the Aperol Spritz, a tall pour of Prosecco, soda and Aperol on the rocks that Venetians and tourists really love. The 3:2:1 ratio (bubbly, Aperol and soda respectively) is more forgiving than a negroni. I just make mine in the glass like this guy. I also use a chopstick or a knife to mix everything up, but I don’t think that necessarily adds to the experience. I skip the orange slice, too.

A spritz takes the edge off of the heat without being too boozy or sweet, so you can drink them all afternoon. It makes things okay on a hot day and it makes the Olympics even better. So next time your friend tries to ruin your primetime Olympics viewing experience with live results he saw on ESPN earlier that day, stay calm and pour yourself a spritz. It’s going to be okay.

Posted by Susannah

Splishing and Splashing to Olympic Stardom

Loyal m.blog readers already know about my (not-so) secret past as a competitive synchronized swimmer.

For those of you who were unaware until this point (stop snickering), my tween and teenage days were spent in the pool toggling from synchronized swimming to high school speed swimming practices (literally hopping from one pool to another). As a result, my talents were super weird (still are) – think crazy lung capacity, abnormal flexibility, the ability to blow bubbles from my eyes (gross, I know), and the competence to change from a bathing suit to regular clothes on the pool deck without flashing a single soul. The stuff of legends.

Although it’s not the most high-impact or rough ‘n tough of sports out there, I still hold true to the fact that synchronized swimming is the most challenging, result-baring exercise I’ve ever done. Harder than spinning, more difficult than boot camp, and way tougher than Zumba (duh). So when the summer Olympics begin every four years, you know what I’m watching.

This year, Team USA’s synchronized swimming crew is one badass group of gorgeous mermaids athletes. These talented ladies spend hours practicing their skills upside-down, without breathing, all while launching themselves and each other into the air with a goal of making it all look easy. It’s not easy.

So, in an attempt to increase the badass status of you, our m.blog community, it’s time to learn some tricks of the trade, starting with the ballet leg, a staple in the synchronized swimming sphere. Practice every day and you could splish, splash and flip your way to Olympic stardom.

The Ballet Leg:

(Image source Synchroism)

• Step one: Skulling. It’s best to practice this on land first. In the water, lay flat on your back (cardinal rules: head to the ceiling, toes pointed!) and let yourself float. This is called a back layout. Bend and raise both elbows so your palms are facing behind you (like below). With your hands cupped, move your forearms in towards your sides and back out over and over. Don’t stop (or you’ll sink…). You’ll be skulling for the entire ballet leg, and throughout your potential Olympic-bound future, so get used to it. Hence the sweet biceps on these gals.

• Step two: Slowly bend your right knee while dragging your toe along the front of your left shin. Stop when your knee and thigh are perpendicular to your body (your right toe will land just below your knee cap). There should be space for air under your knee at this point, but we can work on that. If you feel yourself struggling to stay afloat, drop your arms lower and scull further under the surface to support your hips.

• Step three: Here’s the hard part: Slowly straighten your right leg, keeping your thigh still and toes pointed until your right leg is sticking straight up to the ceiling, forming a 90 degree angle with your body. Keep skulling. Don’t freak! You might sink at this point, but Rome wasn’t built in a day. Pop back up to the surface and try, try again.

• Step four: Without making a big splash, lower your right calf back down to the bent-knee position you were in before, keeping your thigh still, arms moving and toes pointed.

• Step five: Hang in there! It’s almost over. Gently straighten your right knee while sliding your toe across your shin until you are in your back layout (arms still moving in and out), just as you began. Lay here for a few beats and then take a well-deserved bow!

Welcome to the Olympic track, baby! Pretty soon you’ll be doing THIS!

Posted by Mary

Image source Everyday Minerals