Cry Me a Well-Seasoned Meal

Image source Jezebel

Move over fleur de sel; there’s a new way to hand-harvest artisanal salts, and rumor has it the process is much less labor intensive. All it takes is a little workout for your tear ducts. In a departure from processed table salt and she-she black truffle sea salt, a London-based retailer is now hawking Salt Made From Tears (cue the collective bleghhh!).

Giving new meaning to the phrase “emotional eating,” the seasoning takes on different flavor profiles depending on how the tears were shed, whether from crying while chopping onions, laughing, sneezing and during fits of anger or sorrow. The tears are then are boiled, crystallized, harvested by hand and rinsed into brine. My question: How much money do they pay these human tear crops? Releasing pent up feelings while making a quick buck doesn’t sound too shabby.

Who needs Maldon and sea-salted caramel truffles when you could be noshing on house-made sorrow salt and vinegar potato chips or beet salad sprinkled with undertones of anger?

Now you can actually say you put tears into your food. Blood and sweat may not be too far behind…

Disclaimer: The salts are real, but the tears are a gag-inducing hoax to sell seasonings  – go cry about it.

Posted by Abby

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