There’s no shame in my game: I watch Most Eligible Dallas on Bravo. At first I scoffed and guffawed (and all the other verbs out there that vaguely have something to do with boisterous mocking) at the ridiculousness of the concept and the blowhards who think their banal social lives are worthy of national consumption. But then I remembered we live in the age of the star-making machine of the non-star (otherwise known as reality TV) and decided to ease up and give it a shot. By the end of the first episode, I was hooked. Not because the dating lives of the six singles featured in the show are all that interesting, but for one reason and one reason only—Courtney Kerr.
A 29-year old sunglass shop manager who lives in a Dallas hi-rise and whose name is spelled out in dollhouse letters above a vanity in her bedroom, Courtney is an easy villain/victim. She pines after her best friend Matt (who strings her along), she blasts other girls who attract Matt’s attention and she gets drunk and cries about how she’s 29 and still single.
Aside from the pathetic behavior, Courtney has a knack for hypotheticals and description. When asked to describe her ideal man, she claims to have not given it much thought, then proceeds to rattle off qualities as specific as “left Texas to go to school, but is back now because this is where he wants to raise a family,” “has a globe in his office that his mentor gave him,” and “has a dog with a really manly name like Butch or Duke” in addition to more general characteristics like “tall,” “has JFK Jr. hair” and is “from a Southern family.”
For every mean dig she has at a 23-year old object of Matt’s attention and drunken cry in a restaurant bathroom, Courtney slays it in her interviews, describing the guy she sees her friend Tara ending up with (“someone who wears pocket squares, but not flashy design ones, something more understated”) and making fun of the stripper-esque names of the girls Matt dates (“They’re never normal names like Ashley or Brittany or Lindsay. They’re always things like MJ or Kat. Meow.”).
I hope to see a lot more of Courtney “I’m Crazy and I Own It” Kerr.
Posted by Amelia